Why in the world am I starting a blog? Well it’s not something I ever thought I would do. Not ever! This blog is the Lord’s answer to a prayer from deep in my soul. I’ve been seeking God to reveal what more I can give of myself for Him and to glorify His name. A prayer that I have taken to Him in secret, saying, “I want to demolish anything within me that is holding me back from being a light that shines brightly and a person who tells of His wonderful ways and unfailing love. A light that cannot be hidden.” A prayer to be what God says I am designed to be:
“You are the light of the world. A town built on a hill cannot be hidden. Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house. In the same way, let your light shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and glorify out Father in heaven.” Matthew 5:14-16 NIV
Jesus told His disciples that what God has done and is doing in your life is not to be hidden but revealed for all to see so that others may Glorify God. Now please do not misunderstand my heart! This is, by no means, self-promotion; rather, it is God promotion! I want to make Him famous!
So God has clearly shown me that it’s my fears that need to be demolished. My fears of: failure, being misunderstood, misleading people with His Word, not measuring up, and more. I know that these fears will continue to be a crippling stronghold in my life if I do not choose to have faith that God can help me push through them and become more for Him. I am scared to death of writing, much less making it public. No surprise then that God would confront this “head on!”
This is not my first attempt to overcome my lack of eloquence, my use of grammar that only a few can interpret :), spelling that the “online dictionary” doesn’t even recognize, and sentences that seemingly go on forever. When the Lord directed me back to college after being out of high school for 20 years, I truly expected to correct these things and to gain a new confidence in my ability to write. This did not happen. Even though I graduated with honors, this weakness and my acute awareness of it remained, like a picture from the high school yearbook that you can never remove! Believe me when God said, “This is what I want you to do for My glory,” I reminded Him of my many times of failure and that He would have to work overtime to use me in this venue. I felt like Moses arguing with God, “but, but, but I stutter! How can I speak for You?” God’s response was “classic.” After I became still for a moment, He whispered in my ear as a voice behind me (but not audibly) saying, “That is precisely WHY I want you to do this. I will be most glorified in using your weakness because you cannot do this in your strength and ability. DO NOT FEAR for I am with you.”
I challenged the Lord: “Okay Lord, I hear you…but who would even care to read it and who do I think I am that others would take the time?”
He said, “I will read it and you are my daughter! Do this for My glory and leave the rest up to me.”
So as a daughter of the Most High King, a pastor’s wife, a mom to two, a sister, a friend, and a servant, I am CHOOSING to walk in obedience and I sincerely hope you walk with me. I pray that my life will reflect a light of truth as I share my journey with you. I want to live out of His abundance and my own poverty declaring that my faith is bigger than my fears! I CHOOSE God’s control over my life rather than being held back by my own fears.
Deep within my heart resides an earnest desire to honor God and to genuinely share the unfiltered story of my journey, past, present, and future as I choose to believe God for who He is, relying on His faithfulness for this season of my life.
Why not join me?
Let your faith be bigger than your fears and trust God to use your weaknesses for His glory.
What are you afraid of that you question if God is big enough to help you overcome?
Let’s CHOOSE to trust Him with it…together.