Obedience to The Lord Despite the Fears by A Missionary Friend

Written by A Missionary Friend

*Names have been changed for security purposes.

A couple weeks ago, the Lord was gracious to give me some time to process what had just happened in our family. I was reminded of the day Ruth started preschool at the age of three and I took Joshua, less than a month old, in his car seat and went to Port City Java and just cried and cried and drank coffee and asked the Lord to help me overcome my fears. This time, instead of Port City Java, I was at Panera and I had just dropped Joshua at his first driving time behind the wheel, and I was reflecting on how, five days previously, we had left Ruth at college, watched her walk away, and I bawled my eyes out again like I did when she started pre-school. And I thought, where does the time go?

I am so thankful for this extended time in the US to be with Ruth and for the opportunity to see her again over her Fall break, but I am also looking to the next step…moving back to South Asia. And I am fearful. Fearful even as I read the promise in Matthew 19:29 which says, “And everyone who has left houses or brothers or sisters or father or mother or wife or children or fields for my sake will receive a hundred times as much and will inherit eternal life.” The “children” part of that verse has become all too real and I have new perspective and compassion for my parents…and fear. But, as I have learned so many times since that day that Ruth started preschool, God meets me right where I am.

Just when our fears seem bigger than our faith, He gives us a Word. That morning, it was from Genesis 32 when Jacob is leaving Laban and taking his entire family and flocks back to the land of his father and he is fearful of Esau. After all, the last time Jacob saw his brother Esau he was fleeing for his life because Esau had decided in his heart to kill Jacob once Isaac died (Genesis 27:41). And yet, God told Jacob, twenty years later, to return to the land of his father and grandfather and to his relatives there. And God’s words came with a promise, “And I will be with you” (Genesis 31:3). In obedience, Jacob stepped out in faith and did as God told him. Yet he was still fearful. His flesh was fearful and he had a choice to succumb to his fleshly fear or be obedient to the Lord. His response, in Genesis 32:9-12, is to plead to God for protection, in essence, to say, “Make my faith bigger than my fear.”

In this place, where he sought the Lord, where he struggled with obedience over fear, faith over fear, the Lord met him face-to-face…even “wrestled” with him. Wrestled with God! Can you believe that? The God who is so holy that no man can look on his face WRESTLED with Jacob! And before leaving Jacob, God says that Jacob “wrestled with God and with men and has won.” In Jacob’s struggle with God, he overcame his fleshly, manly fears and was blessed by God (32:29). But the wrestling match wasn’t an easy one and in the process Jacob’s hip socket was wrenched and he limped as a result. The wrestling we do with the Lord when we face our fears is hard work and it can be painful and can leave scars, but it is so worth it! Jacob limps off to be greeted the next day by Esau who “embraced him, threw his arms around his neck, and kissed him. And they both wept” (Genesis 33:4)!

God’s promise to be with Jacob proved true. This encounter sanctified Jacob…he grew in his resolve to be obedient to the Lord despite his fear. Jacob would not forget the struggle…the pain in his hip would remind him the next time the same obedience versus fear struggle came and it would serve as a reminder of how God had been faithful. Oh what a visual of sanctification, of our human struggle of fear versus faith. Each time our obedience results in a blessing, we remember it and we are quicker to obey the next time.

Thank you, Father, for this amazing reminder for us. May we remember that You have promised to be with us always to the end of the age as we are obedient to go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything You have commanded us (Matthew 28:19-20).

*Sometimes, “pennies in your path” show up in the trials.

Question: Are you struggling with placing your faith over your fears? If so, in what way?

Growing Deeper-

One Action Step Recognize that God keeps His promise, “And I will be with you” (Genesis 31:3). That promise is not an old promise but a current promise. God has not changed. He is the same God today that He was for Jacob. If you do not believe that, then wrestle down your unbelief with God.

Scripture Plunge: Matthew 19:29, 28:19-20, Genesis 27:41, Genesis 31:3, Genesis 32, Genesis 33:4,

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